Day 23: 165 LBS Size 12/14

Being fat sucks. Twenty-three days of on/off going to the gym and it's hard to find motivation to go. I'm pretty happy that I lost at least a few pounds. I can almost fit back into my stretchy black Armani jeans.

I look terrible...I hate these damn full length photos. I rolled out of bed and snapped a photo. I'm bloated! =[

I've cut down on carbs and basically stopped going out to eat AS-MUCH as I was.






Here's today's stats:
Weight: 165
Size: 12/14

Cardio: 35 min elliptical
Strength: None

Day: 4 The Before Photo

This is one of the last full body shots of myself.. since that vacation last May...I've become the floating head. I've maintained around this same weight.

Height: 5'7
Weight: 170

This is actually a 'good' photo.

Day 3:

Today, I did better. I drank Starbucks black coffee with sugar-free hazelnut syrup and had enough energy to go to the gym.
I did a resistance of 4 on the elliptical.

I'm 171.5

Are you supposed to weigh yourself every day? I do. I don't care. I want to know how I'm doing.

I had a job interview today. I was so embarrassed. When I got back into my car after the interview, I noticed my black stretch pants had split down the crotch.

It's definitely not a hot look. I hope no one noticed. Now the only clothes I can wear are from NY&Co.

I have to change. They say dramatic weight loss always comes back to haunt you but I don't care. I'd give anything to be back in size 12 jeans, AT LEAST.

I'm afraid to post my 'Before' picture, or even put a measuring tape around me. I know my bust is a tight 36, my waist probably a 30-something, and my hips? 42? Maybe more...

Tomorrow, I'll post my 'Before'

Day 2:

I'm a little sore...

Weight: 171 lbs
Cardio: 30 min of Elliptical with the resistance on 3
Strength: Leg machines, inner/outer thighs

This isn't as easy as I remembered. Today, the scale reads 171 but I feel like 185. I'm bloated, tired, and would much rather cruise Marshall's sale racks than go to the gym today.


I went to the diner and ate chicken nuggets and fries, and a french onion soup. That was my only meal.
I know it's not healthy but it's not easy to hang out with friends who want to go out to eat as a social thing.

Day 1: 172.5 LBS - Time to change.

Stats:

Height: 5'7
Weight: 172.5
Size: Extra large/14


The alarm rang this morning at 10 a.m., yes, I need an alarm to wake me up at 10 a.m. Truth is, I have been totally exhausted and for no valid reason. I admire the 5 a.m. gym goers, the preppy girls who can actually go to bed at a decent hour. I eat my dinners in front of my 52' LCD flat screen, I could easily inhale an entire flank steak and bowl of french fries. It has been months since I went to the gym and worked out, or read rag mags on the treadmill.

Tired and hungry. With the holiday season already approaching, I can't even stomach the thought of gaining another 10 lbs.
Why?

I can't button my STRETCH PANTS. Jeans have been out of the question for awhile now. There's no such thing as cute size 14 jeans.
Yes, big and beautiful women do exist but my body is an uneven façade. A decently attractive and somewhat slender face on a wide load of a behind.

My closet? My closet is somewhat empty. Empty because my size 8 'skinny jeans' have been put into storage for the last three years. It upsets me. I used to have so many clothes. I gained 40 lbs after a break up.

I've had it. I'm sick and tired of being overweight, tired, and wearing the same boring black stretch clothes.
I'm sick of hiding behind my weight.

Since I was fifteen, I've written a specific goal weight in the entries of my Moleskine journal. 125 lbs.
Goal weight: 125 lbs. Endless goal lists have read 125 lbs. Always 125 lbs. I never achieved that goal.

I want it so bad, I can taste it. I've never been slimmer than a largely cut size 8. I know I can.

I'm ready to get started. Off to the gym I go! Wish me luck!!